Hope you had a super fun weekend! I was watching one of my fav TV shows, Suits, the other night and LMAO at Donna’s lines. Donna is a badass executive assistant at a fictional law firm in New York City and one of the most confident women to have ever graced the small screen. After sleeping with a hot guy for the first time, her friend asks her, “how was it?” to which Donna responds, “I was AWESOME”. Donna knows she’s an amazing Queen so she expects others to treat her that way and she always does exactly what she wants.
Do you always do what you want? Or is self-doubt and a lack of self-belief holding you back? How can you become more like Donna - kicking ass and taking names?
This is the wonderful Mindy Kaling’s advice on how to build killer confidence:
“Work hard, know your shit, show your shit, and then feel entitled.”
I agree with Mindy that confidence comes from genuine accomplishment and hard work.
However, I know you’re a hard worker, that you’re highly competent at what you do and that you’ve accomplished a lot in your career. But are you “showing your shit” and “feeling entitled”?
Let’s have a little chat about what’s holding you back and what you can do to change that.
Bask in your own glory
Do you find it uncomfortable or difficult to recognize, take responsibility for and/or celebrate your accomplishments? Maybe it’s because you were told that to be “modest” or “humble” is the very epitome of being a “good girl.” It’s time to say goodbye to that boring nice girl image. Be proud of yourself for kicking ass every day. Here’s how:
- Take responsibility for your achievements: Sophie, stop blowing off your accomplishments like they are nothing. When someone gives you a compliment about a job well done or thanks you for helping them out, let it land on you. Relish that positive feeling and don’t push it aside with an “it was nothing”. Say thank you, smile and relish the joy of reveling in your own awesomeness
- Recognize your accomplishments: Your self-worth and self-esteem are determined by you and no one else. Don’t wait around for someone to validate your achievements. Take stock of your accomplishments (no matter how small you think they are) daily, weekly, monthly and yearly. Write them down in a journal and share them with someone in your life. If you can’t recognize your own successes, how can you expect anyone else to?
- Celebrate: After you’ve written down what you’ve achieved that day, decide how you will celebrate it - you are a Queen and you freaking deserve it. It doesn’t have to involve throwing yourself a big fabulous party (although I think we should do more of that) it could be as simple as buying your favourite coffee or magazine the next morning.
Once you start to recognize, take responsibility for and celebrate your accomplishments, you’ll see how truly fabulous you are.
I’ll follow up with Part 2 of the Guide to Killer Confidence next week. In the meantime, start basking in your own glory - let me know how it goes for you!